


COMING HOME

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Points of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-26
Updated: 2007-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-27 00:49:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12070359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Chapter starts with Justin in NYC and Brian still in Pittsburgh. Justin made a decision about New York; is he leaving it or staying? Brian has a business deal in NYC, Michael expects him to go see Justin; but will he or will he not?





	1. "The Boy in New York City"

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: The story "The Boy in New York City" is my very first QAF fic. I hope that you guys will like it as much as I enjoy writing it. I very much appreciate comments and criticsms :)  


* * *

**by Doppelganger**

**Time Square, Manhattan, New York City.** Justin was standing on the side of the road, lost amidst the bright spectaculars of the city. It was early in the afternoon; it was cold and slightly snowing. He looked up at the bright sign that was above him, his head slightly tilted to the left. He got off work early today since it was Friday. It had been a couple of months since he moved to East Village, but he hadn’t gotten the chance to explore the city yet, so he decided to take a walk on Broadway. After getting over the sign’s bright light, he decided to continue walking, but Justin wasn’t really taking in the surroundings. He was too much deep into his own thoughts. Of Pittsburgh. Of him.

__

It’s been two months, sixteen hours, forty-four minutes and thirty-four seconds since the last time I’ve seen him. Touched him. Kissed him. Fucked him. I miss him so much. I wish he was here with me right now. New York City is such a marvelous place. Crowded and a whole lot louder than the Liberty Avenue I know so well, but it is a great city. My head is spinning just by looking at all the lights here in Time Square. Jesus, they are all on even during the day. Even McDonald’s has neon lights! Daphne would definitely flip if she saw this! And me? I’m supposed to be having fun right now. But all I can think about is him. I’d have a blast if he was here. I wonder what he’s doing right now. 

__

We’ve been calling each other practically every week, which is really a good thing considering the way we said our goodbyes. Although I wish our conversations were in person. The last time we were on the phone was the other day. He was telling me how Mikey, that is exactly what he called Michael, and Ben are doing good. Mikey, he said, was blabbing on about how he should come down to see me. Of course he didn’t go into details about that but his voice became lower, sad. Instead he started talking about tricking. “All work and no dick makes Sunshine a dull boy.” Like what he would say to Michael and I when we were working on our comics. I told him how ridiculously expensive it is to live here, that I do not really have the time to go out clubbing and tricking. I got a job at a printing company in Midtown Manhattan, doing little things like copying and arranging files, stuff like that. It’s not the best job in the world, and I’ve been working there for a month now, but I have to save money because I can’t stay with Daphne’s friend. Her place is too small for both of us. I need my own place, my own studio where I can set up all my art materials. Right now they’re all in one corner, all cramped up. Plus, her rent is very high. I’m probably going to move out of Manhattan, maybe to Queens or Brooklyn or something. I heard that there are a lot of affordable apartments and studios there. After working, the free time I have I spend working on my drawings and paintings. He told me I will be fine, that I will be okay. I did tell him, though, that I had gone clubbing one night last month. There were a lot of very hot young guys who wanted a piece of me, maybe even more. But I didn’t waste my time talking to them. I just wasn’t interested. But there was this one man.

__

I saw him at the bar, his back turned. I felt ecstasy just by looking at him, tall, dark-haired, lean body. I came up to him to say ‘Hi’ only to be disappointed when I saw his face. I was hoping to see someone else’s. The feeling of semi-heaven went away like cigarette smoke being blown away by a strong wind. Even so, we hooked up. I told him how the guy tried to kiss me, but I didn’t let him. While I was telling him this, the other line became silent. 

__

I continued, “The guy asked me why I wouldn’t kiss him.” 

__

“What did you tell him?” _he replied from the other line._

I said, “ _I told him I have a boyfriend.” Again, the silence._

__

The sex was good. But it was not pleasurable. There was something missing. I wanted to tell him this but I didn’t. 

__

Justin stopped walking to cross the street. He looked to his left and to his right. Then he proceeded, still deep in his thoughts.

__

All I can think about right now are his piercing eyes. The way he stares at me just brings shivers down my spine. It makes my blood boil. The way he puts a toothpick between his teeth and bites it as he fixes his eyes on mine, watching me watching him. He never has to say anything, but every time he looks at me I know he is telling me he wants me, he needs me, he loves me. He taught me well when it comes to love and sex. I could have sex with a dozen men and not bullshit about love; Love, like he said, are straight people’s lame excuse so that they could get laid. Sex is quick and does not require any commitment. I know this, but I can’t see myself meeting up with another guy right now. And that one guy was just that one guy, nothing more, nothing less. But I don’t have the urge to go out again and sleep with other guys. Not with him in my mind. I still can smell his sweat, taste his mouth. How I yearn for him to cum inside me over and over again the way he used to. Shit, I need a smoke! 

__

He stopped walking and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket. He took one out of the pack and lit it. Justin looked around him; Broadway was surely crowded with people, both residents and tourists, but mostly tourists. It looked so alive now that the sun was setting. The lights were even brighter and the busy sound of the streets got even busier. But he felt empty. He felt nothing. Only yearning. Yearning for the one thing that mattered in his life. New York City is such a lonely place. Right now for him, it was just another piece of land on the map without the trace of the footsteps of the man he wished to follow everywhere, anywhere. He started walking towards Radio City.

__

The silence of the other line lasted for about ten seconds, and then he started telling me about Debbie. He said she was missing me badly. I’m missing her, too. And what a surprise, he said my mother stopped by the loft a week before. He said she wanted to say ‘Hello’. I saw my mother and Molly before I left for New York. She said to me that seeing me is like seeing Brian and vice versa. She said his face is written all over my face and mine is on his. My sadness must be very apparent for her to say such a thing. 

__

“I hope you weren’t fucking when she came over.” _I was smirking when I said this to him. A slight giggle escaped my mouth._

“Yeah, I wish I came, too,” _was his reply. I can almost bet his lips were twisted in a mischievous, perverted smirk like they always do when he’s horny or thinking of something very naughty._

__

God I wish he was here with me right now. I can think of a million things I’d do to him if he was. 

__

He continued towards the Rockefeller Center. It stopped snowing although the wind was kind of chilly. He pulled his red hat all the way down to his ears, almost covering his eyes, strands of his blond hair poking his left eye. He stuck his finger in the hat to brush away the hair. His pace was slowing down, like his thoughts, completely focusing on the one face that was etched on his mind, the face of the man he loved. He took another breath of his cigarette.

__

I wonder if it is as hard for him as it is for me being apart like this. I know what he did -- what we did -- was the right thing. I know I would never, ever be able to live my life, knowing that I tied him down. Marriage is not for him, I knew that from the very beginning. And yet he asked me, he proposed, and he was willing to give up everything, anything to make me happy, and he did. He gave me up to make me happy. But, am I? I will have the career I have been dreaming about and wanting since I was a child. I know nothing is impossible here in New York. I will be what I’ve always wanted to be. And I believe his words; I’m going to be fine, I will be okay. But there’s this yearning deep within me that overpowers everything else.

___I remember my teacher back in high school asked me once, “_ What does yearning mean?” _I answered, “_ Yearning is when you want something really badly, so badly it hurts.” _Then he said to the class that it needs to hurt to be worthy of the word. This feeling of loneliness within me grows much deeper each minute I am apart from him, and I can only compare it to an open wound, drenched in sea water, the cut stinging from the salt. Did I do the right thing? Did I? Apparently, since I’ve pondered every point and reason of our decision, and still asking myself the same old question, I didn’t. The point that I am still young and life is still ahead of me, as I realized later on, is not excuse enough to drive me away. I was 17 when I met him, and at that very first moment I laid eyes on him, I knew that I wanted him. I belonged to him and he belonged to me._ __

So why did we part? Was it because our love for each other was not enough? Was it because it was just too much to change for someone you love? I don’t think so. I think we loved each other so much that we couldn’t see each other sacrificing who we were for each other’s happiness. Is he happy? I know I make him happy, but he sacrificed his happiness for me, no matter how I look at it. If it was the right thing to do, why doesn’t it feel that way? 

__

Justin ended up by the ice skating rink. There were a few people skating, not minding the coldness of the weather. He leaned on the rail when one particular boy, skating with his father, caught his attention. Justin guessed the boy was about eight years old. He could hear the boy’s laughter. He fell three times already but he never seemed to mind, for his father was there to catch him. His thoughts once again flew.

__

How is he getting by without me by his side? How am I going to get by without him? 

__

He decided to walk away, throwing his already dead cigarette in a trashcan he passed by. He headed towards the subway. It was getting dark, he needed to get home. He had a lot of stuff to do. It might have been the weekend, but it wasn’t going to be an easy one for him. He had to prepare for an exhibit that would be held four months from now. Justin reached the subway that was overcrowded with people trying to get home. People were trying to go see their families, their girlfriends or boyfriends, their pet dogs or cats. He was just one of them, although he wasn’t going home to anybody but an old cramped apartment which he shared with a person he hardly knew. The train pulled up. People came rushing out of the open doors like water escaping a broken dam. Justin let out a sigh and boarded with the other people. Standing right next to the window by the door, he rested his head on the glass and closed his eyes.

__

How am I going to get through all this if I can’t stop thinking about him? Is it worth it, Justin? If this is the dream I’ve always dreamed of -- if this is going to be the life with him miles and miles away from me, not seeing his face everyday, not feeling his fingers running through my hair -- then it is not. 

__

Justin made a decision the same time the train reached a complete stop. Making his way out of the train, he once again looked around. **HE WAS GOING HOME.** With this thought, his steps became lighter. The bounce in his walk came back and a smile started forming on his lips. He headed towards the street where his apartment was located. Still high with thoughts of love and hope, he failed to notice a pair of hazel eyes watching him as he approached the front building of his apartment. The owner’s lips were a little twisted from a suppressed smile. Justin started towards the building with his head down, his hand in his bag, busily searching for his key. Then he lifted his head to cross the road and saw: **HIM.** The tall, lean figure he came to memorize even in the dark. A car passed by, but his eyes didn’t move away from his face. His lips, even the tips of his fingers, knew every detail of this man’s body. The dark, smooth hair and piercing hazel eyes that never failed to melt him down, but at the same time assured him that he was always going to be there for him. Justin was always going to be the only one. He looked a lot thinner from the last time he saw him. But it was him! The face of God was once again staring down at him, and his arms were wide open waiting for him.

__

To be continued.

__


	2. "The Man in Pittsburgh"

  
Author's notes:

(I had to write this differently from the way I had written the story “The Boy In New York City.” Brian Kinney is a man of action, although we very much know by heart all the profound and smart ass phrases and remarks he delivered, his actions are definitely louder than his words. I would like my readers to see him the way I see him; to read him and listen to him through his actions. I had made changes in the last part of the two stories after listening to PLACEBO for the last week. I fell inlove with their song "MY SWEET PRINCE" that I immdiately thought of Justin after hearing it. Although the song is about heroin addiction, I thought it fitted Brian and Justin for the latter is like drugs to Brian, he was hard to quit. The more Brian had him, the more he wanted him. ENJOY GUYS and LOTS OF QAF LOVE!!!!-Doppeganger-)

Brian is getting ready for a business trip to New York. Although, he could not concentrate. He is being hunted by the boy's face. Michael is driving him to the airport and he brought a container of Debbie's dish to give to the boy. But is he going to see him? 

* * *

**The loft, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.** Brian just got out of the shower. He grabbed a clean white towel hanging on the rack and dried himself, then wrapped it around his slim waist. He picked up his toothbrush, put on a little toothpaste and started brushing his teeth. As he was doing this, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His beautiful face was skinnier. He lost weight in the last two months, but it was not the result of him hitting the gym regularly with the boys. He winced, realizing the reason behind the unappealing look he was fashioning right now. He needed a shave. The usual glitter in his eyes had so long disappeared the day the most important person in his life had walked out his door, for the fourth time. His sadness was undeniable. He hurriedly washed his mouth with water and gargled some mouthwash, avoiding his reflection, avoiding his own eyes. He was about to start shaving when he saw the towel that was hanging in the rack where the identical towel around his waist was hanging before. He automatically reached for the towel and brought it to his face. With his eyes closed, he inhaled its scent. The sweet smell of freshly washed hair, a blond head flashed inside his mind. 

The towel had been washed once since the boy's departure. It had never been used, and it had been hanging in the same place as if waiting for the boy's return. Although the towel had been cleaned through and through, Brian's nose could still catch the distinctive scent of the body it used to dry. It was like a handprint on wet cement. The laundry detergent failed to wash it off the fabric. The scent painted the picture of this body for him. Young, fair and slender, soft but hard at the same time, nice, smooth shoulders, flat stomach that he had pleasurably licked up and down. He could clearly visualize the trail of blond hair that crept from the boy's abdomen down to his pubic area… He immediately caught himself in the moment, and could feel his cock getting hard. He shook his head as if to literally shake off the face that had been haunting him for a couple of months now. 

Every time the boy was apart from him, he saw him more; In the face of every man he took home and fucked. He saw him everywhere he went: In his office, in the baths, in Babylon, in the backroom, in his car where he kissed him passionately, proving to him how he'd missed him, in his loft, every inch of him was scattered all over his home. He was in each and every corner of Liberty Avenue, in Debbie's laughter, in Michael's eyes, even in Hunter's voice. He told himself he would be alright, that he'd be able to handle it... until Jennifer appeared on his doorstep more than a week ago. She was very pleased to see him, and he didn't mind seeing her either. After a little chat and a couple of glasses of wine, Jennifer prepared to leave. 

"I miss Justin so much, but being here right now," she looked around the loft in all its sparseness, then back to his face, "is making me feel better already." He didn't know what to say. He maintained an expressionless façade, but his eyes were like a lost puppy's. 

"It is so nice to see you, Brian. Take care of yourself." He didn't reply, but accepted the kiss she planted on his cheek, and then she was gone. 

A new realization hit him after that day. Justin was not really around anymore. He was far from him and he was not the only soul that wished he was here. Everything and everyone reminded him of the boy. He was all over his life. He saw him especially in his dreams. He wondered if the boy met him in his own dreams.

He walked toward his bedroom after placing the towel neatly and perfectly back on the rack, caressing it once more before turning his back on it. He stood next to his bed where a suitcase laid open. A few pairs of his signature jeans were nicely folded next to it. A couple of his Armani sweaters were also thrown on the bed, along with a few button-up Prada shirts and some plain white shirts. An Armani suit was neatly hanging on the edge of the bed, on top of his tweed coat. Aside from the two last items, the rest were waiting to be stuffed in the suitcase. He let go of a sigh; he was really going to do this. He stepped in front of his dresser. With hair dripping wet, he rubbed his face with his hand and realized he still need to shave before he started packing. He pulled the top drawer open and retrieved a few pairs of black socks and black underwear, tossing them onto the bed, when he happened to look at the second drawer, perfectly aware of what was in there. He pulled it open after closing the top drawer. A box sat by itself in the middle of the drawer. He knew exactly what it contained. He had never returned them, instead he kept them in the second drawer where the boy's underwear and socks used to be. It remained empty, just like the way it was when he'd gone to LA for a movie deal. 

Ritually at night, he would open the drawer to take out the box, to look at the valuable things it held. They were more than just shiny objects. They were the symbol of what he was willing to give to the boy, to make him happy. He sat on his bed night after night, holding the box close to his face, asking himself why did he ask the boy to marry him? Why did Brian Kinney try to give up his life of fun and no commitments, in replacement of the so-called-hetero life he absolutely loathed? Was it purely for the reason of making the boy happy? Or did he do it for himself too? Because HE made him happy? He was the only one who made him happy. He never believed and would never believe in sacrificing something important for another person's happiness, because that was not love. But wasn't that exactly what he did? He sacrificed his own happiness out of pure love to make the boy happy. He let him go to achieve his dreams, to do what he had to do and to be what he needed and wanted to be. He was young, there was so much more out there for him. So he had to let him go. He did not resent it, but it was killing him. The way it was killing him that Gus and Lindsay were so far from him. Gus, his son, how he missed him so. 

Brian closed the box as if closing his mind from all the thoughts of sadness, but he failed. He put the box back inside the drawer. Once again he stepped into the bathroom. Instead of his toothbrush, he grabbed his shaver and the bottle of shaving cream. He spread the cream on his chin and cheeks and started shaving, when suddenly he saw the boy next to him, smiling at him… face covered in shaving cream the way he was now. He dismissed the image, only to be stalked by the question he'd been combating with in the last few weeks. _'Did he see himself with or without him? Did he see himself with another guy or none at all?'_ For a minute the world stopped for Brian. Time, if it did have breath, seemed to hold for him just this once. In an instant, Brian's life with the boy flashed before his eyes: The first time he saw him leaning on a pole in Liberty Avenue, looking lost and out of place, the first time they fucked each other's brains out, the bashing, their healing, the night the boy walked out on him at Rage's party with the fiddler, the night he returned to him, calling his name in the most sensual way, _**"Mr. Kinney…".**_ It went on and on, then… it stopped. There was only one picture flashing in front of his eyes that lingered and stayed: The boy's sleeping face as he lay in his arms every single night that he'd been here with him, in this loft that he called home. He decided he would do it all over again just to have him sleep in his arms once more. 

He finished shaving while his mind was still holding onto the last image in his head. He walked back to his room and heard his phone ring, but did not bother to answer it. The annoying ring persisted; It wouldn't leave him alone. Finally he gave up and went towards the kitchen where his phone was on top of the counter right next to his plane ticket. He was about to answer the phone when it stopped ringing. It showed Michael's number on the screen. Michael, according to the screen, had called him twice already and also had left him a message. He must have been very deep in his thoughts because he usually picked up the phone, no matter what he was doing, even when he was fucking. He lazily brought the phone to his ear and listened to the voicemail that was left on the phone an hour ago. Michael was on his way to pick him up and would be driving him to the airport. 

He hung up the phone after the message was done and picked up the ticket, looking at it intently. He felt a rush of excitement. 

"Are you ready?" He heard someone speak behind him. It was Michael. He was watching him the same way he was watching his plane ticket. He didn't know how long he'd been standing in the kitchen, just staring at the ticket. Brian didn't even hear him open the door. 

"I'm always ready Mikey, you know that," he replied, a sexy smirk formed on the side of his mouth. Michael rolled his eyes as he walked into the room, inspecting Brian's progress -- if there was any -- with the suitcase and his clothing that was lying on the bed. 

"Jesus, Brian, you're not packed yet! Your flight is in two hours! And please don't tell me you are having second thoughts of going to New York?!" Michael's eyes were as round as ever, the way they got when he was excited or anxious. Michael came out of Brian's bedroom and walked towards him in the kitchen. 

"Mikey, stop being a drama queen! The fucking airport is not going anywhere! Besides, I told you I could take a cab, you don't have to drive me to the airport," Brian said as he headed to his bedroom, purposely ignoring his friend's last comment. 

"Well, I came from a drag queen, what do you expect? And I'm not settling for the princess position…" Brian heard him reply.

"…and I promised you I will take you to the airport so, here I am." Brian shook his head, secretly smiling. Michael, although a married man, was still his best friend, Mikey. He was the same worry-nelly he'd always been. He always told Michael nobody owes him anything, and he also told him days ago he did not have to promise him anything, but Michael insisted on seeing him off at the airport. 

"Well, you're not having second thoughts, are you?" Michael followed him into the bedroom. 

"What? Whether or not to get a cock ring?" Now his smile was wide.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. You had that same look on your face when he was in L.A. and you were looking at your plane ticket," Michael said. 

"And what was that?" He whispered, not really intending for Michael to hear him. He stripped the towel off his waist and put on one of the pairs of black underwear and socks he pulled out of the drawer earlier. He then grabbed one of the signature jeans and a white Armani sweater that was lying on the bed and hurriedly put them on too. He walked towards the life-size mirror to check himself out when Michael stuffed a container in his arms. 

"Fuck, Michael! Be careful, this ensemble cost me about three months of your comic store mortgage," he yelled as he pushed the container away from his sweater. He lifted it to his face and examined it. "What the fuck is it, anyway?" The container was filled with some sort of dish in red sauce. 

"It's from Mom. She said to give it to…"

"…some bum I meet on Broadway? Well Mikey, I do not have any intention of being a philanthropist in New York. I am going to a business meeting," he firmly said to Michael as he stuffed the container back into Michael's arms. 

"Well good, at least you didn't change your mind about New York. Hurry up; you know how it is at the airport. You have to check in…" he could hear Michael continuing with his lecture on how it was going to be busy at the airport and that the traffic might make them late for his flight. He couldn't hear more than that, for his thoughts were once again under his sentiment's spell. 

He didn't change his mind, but he wanted to. The boy had to be happy there in New York. He had to be. He sounded like it every time they talked over the phone. Yes, he was having a difficult time looking for a space to work on his paintings, but he was definitely happy. He didn't want to ruin it for him or to interfere, but he needed to see him. Even just this once.

 

**Pittsburgh International Airport, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.** Brian planted a long kiss on Michael's lips before entering the gate. Michael made him promise to call him as soon as he got to New York. He also reminded him for the nth time to hold his duffel bag in a certain way to prevent the marinara sauce from leaking through the container. Somehow, Michael managed to sneak the container into his carry-on bag. He insisted that Debbie would be upset if she found out the boy didn't get it. The whole time he had his what-the-fuck-Michael face on while he was telling him this. Finally he just gave up. He had to tell the flight attendant to be _"very extra careful with the duffel bag"_ or they would have Debbie's sauce all over them. She gave him a weird but admiring look and offered him a drink. He asked for a glass of wine and turned his head to the window. It was early in the afternoon and, although was flurrying, it did not stop the sun from brightly shining, but the sun did not defeat the coldness of the day. He had to pull the collar of his black leather Hugo Boss jacket up to cover his neck when he stepped out of his building. For now, he was warm and comfortable… just waiting and anticipating. He closed his eyes, desire, longing and yearning filled his head, and he'd never felt better in the last two months. In a few minutes, they were advised to put on their seat belts. Through the glass of the wine he'd been sipping, he looked at Pittsburgh from above as they ascended. His heart skipped a beat. There was no turning back. 

 

**East Village, New York City.** Brian got out of the cab after paying the driver. His suitcase and duffel bag both sat on each side of his feet like tamed dogs. He looked up at the apartment building towering over him, his heart pounding. The boy's presence graced this very establishment. He was about to walk in the building when he saw **HIM.** The boy was across the roadwalking towards the building. He knew his walk so well, and the perfect blond hair that stuck out of the red hat covering most of his head. The boy didn't notice him since he was busy reaching for something in his messenger bag that hung across his chest. He looked healthy. And happy. Then finally he looked up to cross the road when their eyes met. They didn't say a word; both had their eyes fixed on one another. A car passed by, blocking their view from each other for a few seconds, but it felt like the car was there for eternity for time froze. The car's music was blasting, it was an unfamiliar song to Brian but he found himself liking it. " _My sweet prince, you are the one,"_ echoed in Brian's head as the car proceeded, leaving them smoke and the trail of the hunting voice of the singer.  
The boy crossed the road and was only two feet away from him. Brian opened his arms; he just wanted to hold him tight. Justin came running to him and pressed his face on his chest. Brian's lungs were crushed not by the force of the boy's hug, but by the intensity of the happiness he was experiencing right now. Brian put his hands on the boy's nape and kissed him passionately, devouring the young man's mouth, tasting the familiar taste on his tongue. When their lips parted, he heard him say, _"What took you so long?"_ He gave him a smile and again tasted his lips. 

 

_To be continued…_

 

MY SWEET PRINCE by PLACEBO

_Never thought you'd make me perspire._  
Never thought I'd do you the same.  
Never thought I'd fill with desire.  
Never thought I'd feel so ashamed.  
  
Me and the dragon can chase all the pain away.  
So before I end my day, remember..  
My sweet prince, you are the one  
My sweet prince  
you are the one  
  
Never thought I'd have to retire  
Never thought I'd have to abstain  
Never thought all this could back fire  
Close up the hole in my vain  
  
Me and my valuable friend  
can fix all the pain away  
So before I end my day  
remember  
My sweet prince  
you are the one  
My sweet prince  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
  
Never thought I'd get any higher  
Never thought you'd fuck with my brain  
Never thought all this could expire  
Never thought you'd go break the chain  
  
Me and you baby,  
still flush all the pain away  
So before I end my day  
remember  
My sweet prince  
you are the one  
My sweet prince  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
you are the one  
My sweet prince  
My sweet prince  



	3. "Once Again"

  
Author's notes:

This is the third part of the prolouge to the "Season 6” my friend Kelly and I have been attempting to write. It took so very long, I know, so I would like to apologize to those who were waiting for this part. The stories following this one are being worked on, so hopefully they won't take as long as this one :)

Thank you to our beta NICOLE (http://girloftheburbs.livejournal.com/) from LiveJournal. *Thank you so much for your help! We appreciate it! KISSES!!!!

Brian had been visiting Justin and it seemed that their long-distance relationship would work out…until the last day Brian visited.

I hope you guys would enjoy this story. Kelly and I will greatly appreciate criticisms, comments and suggestions!

LOTS OF QAF LOVE!!!!

 

* * *

By Doppelganger and 666meow

**New York City.** It had been more than two weeks since the last time Justin had been with Brian and if asked, Justin could probably tell anyone who cared the time to the minute. He missed Brian. He really was trying to get out and do the artist thing while he was here in New York. There really was no point in torturing the both of them by being apart if he wasn't going to do what he came to do. So he went to galleries and tried to make contact with all the right people. In reality all he wanted was Brian. His days were spent waiting for Brian to come visit.

Justin sighed and looked up from his sketch pad, looking around Central Park, when he noticed that it was getting dark and he needed to get home. He wanted to work on a few more ideas before he needed to sleep. He had recently found a small studio, sharing it with two other artists. He knew that weekday mornings were the best time to get there to have the place all to himself but he worked in the mornings too; so he tried to get to the studio at dawn before work so he could blast his music and not have to worry about disturbing them. 

He started to pack his stuff up, and he allowed his mind to wander to Brian's first visit as he took his first step towards the subway.

_He had been out roaming around Broadway that day, more than two months after he left Pittsburgh, (more than ten months ago), taking advantage of being off work very early on a weekend, waiting as always for inspiration to strike. Mostly, he thought of Brian and how badly he wanted to see him, touch him, feel him._

_He had been so surprised that night when he got to his apartment building and saw the familiar figure standing there, waiting for him. The man was wearing his infamous black Boss leather jacket, luggage at his feet. He met his hazel eyes as they stared at him. For a minute they just watched each other, feasting on flesh uncovered by warm clothing due to the coldness of that day. Their eyes both expressed hunger for each other's touch. Then he walked right up to Brian and buried his face on his hard chest. Then… they kissed._

_He could still feel Brian's soft lips pressed down firmly on his. He could still remember how Brian devoured his wet mouth. He could still hear his voice whispering in his ear how he wanted to take him right there and then. He had replied by slipping his tongue deeper down Brian's throat, which he didn't seem to mind at all._

_They took a cab to The Waldorf in Midtown Manhattan. As soon as they got to their room, they tore each other's clothes off like there was no tomorrow, and had barely made it to the bed before Brian's dick was up his ass. After they consumed each other for the second time, Brian wiped his stomach, gently cleaning it of cum and sweat. It made him release a sigh of contentment._

Justin reached the subway, entering one of the cars after it pulled in front of him. He sat down, apart from other people, his mind in thought of that night's conversation; how he found out about Brian's business deal and how he tried to tell Brian home was not New York.

_"We're probably gonna have to call housekeeping to clean our bed," Justin silently laughed as he looked at the bed with distinguishable spots from their lovemaking._

_Brian couldn't seem to wipe the smirk off his face. He saw Brian look down at his own cock, still semi-hard, then he turned to him and said, "Not just yet, Sunshine."_

_He laughed and replied teasingly, "I can tell you missed me a lot."_

_"You're just lucky I haven't had my dick sucked in the past twenty-four hours," Brian replied, trying to suppress a smile, one eyebrow raised._

_"Ah, I see…" he said as he watched as Brian got up from the bed and reached for something from his carry on luggage._

_"Oh, by the way, Debbie wants her Tupperware back." Brian's face reminded him of the time when he had said how Hunter had "spunk" after retrieving a cum-filled condom for DNA from the cop that killed the dumpster boy. "It's part of her fucking collection," he added as he passed Justin the dish._

_Justin inspected it, which he was positively sure was not good to be eaten anymore. "Appetizing," he said, his eyes wide in disbelief, but thought of Debbie and her thoughtfulness._

_"I hope you're talking about **this** ," he heard Brian say. Moving his eyes from the dish, Justin saw Brian holding his stiff cock, stroking it gently. He placed the dish on the night table without taking his eyes off of Brian, and thought of how well he knew him, his straightforward manner which was usually mistaken for callousness. He also knew so well his face, strong and perfect. He couldn't believe that they were together again. _

On his way home from his little stroll on Broadway, he decided he wanted to be home. And home was Brian. Justin decided he would never be happy, even if he achieved all the successes in the world, if he was not with him; feeling the warmth of his body close to his validated that he belonged to Brian, and Brian belonged to him. 

_"It's meant to be," Justin thought to himself as he looked at the god standing before him; he lay next to him and held him tight. He could feel Brian's hard cock poking him in the side, he silently laughed. He then turned around and their eyes met. Justin couldn't help himself but to reach over, and with his index finger he traced his strong jaw line. He then moved to his sensual lips that were slightly parted; the lips that a few months ago had uttered the words held back for five long years, and he leaned in dropping a small kiss on them. Jazz music played in the background and Justin thought, "How surreal." He saw sparks in Brian's eyes, and it made him smile._

_"What are you doing?" He heard Brian say._

_"Just thinking, this is the second time we've had sex in a hotel room here in New York City," he replied, his head tilted to the left, smiling teasingly at Brian, referring to the time he ran to New York City to become a go-go boy in Chelsea._

_"…and this is the second time your credit card is paying for the room," he eyed Brian, his blue eyes twinkling._

_"Is that a complaint, Sunshine? You can pay for it if you want," Brian replied nonchalantly, feeling him pressing his lower body on Justin's naked back, Brian's cock perfectly fitting the crack._

_"I wish I could for once afford all the luxuries but I can't, at least not for now. It's been really hard since I moved here. Between working and painting, there is never a chance to do other things. When I get my hard-earned check working a very unfulfilling job as a clerk, I can't even do anything with it but pay half of the rent," he said, his nose twisting in a disappointed manner._

_"Well, that's life. Nobody said it's going to be easy. You have to start somewhere. You'll be fine." Brian said, shrugging his shoulders._

_"I was thinking…" Justin started._

_"We should do it again?" cut in Brian, pressing his cock harder on Justin's back. Justin was tickled very sensually and his whole body shivered._

_"…that maybe it wasn't such a good idea that I came to New York," he pushed Brian playfully, but accepted the kiss Brian planted on his mouth after he finished what he was saying._

_When Brian didn't say anything he continued. "What is so different that I am doing here that I didn't do back in Pittsburgh? I mean, I could still paint and have a job over here and not spend as much money on rent. I don't even have my own studio here. At least in Pittsburgh…"_

_"…in Pittsburgh," Brian once again cut into Justin's sentence, "you're not going to meet the people you need to meet to be able to succeed. There's nothing in Pittsburgh for you."_

_Justin could tell that Brian tried not to choke on the last words that came out of his mouth. He could tell he tried hard for him not to notice it; he even tried to avoid his eyes._

_"Brian, my whole family is back in Pittsburgh, my mom, Molly, my fucking dad, Debbie, the guys… and you." He tried to once again hold Brian's eyes._

_"Sunshine, you can never sacrifice success for a piece of ass, haven't I taught you that?"_

_"What are you saying, Brian? You're not just a piece of ass," Justin said, a hoarse laugh coming out of his throat, trying to joke at his own comment. 'Why is he acting like a dick right now?' he thought. Doesn't he want me to come back home? Doesn't he love me anymore?'_

_"If you are going back to Pittsburgh because of me, you're just wasting your time," Brian said as he got up and started walking towards the bathroom._

_"What the fuck are you talking about, Brian?" Now he was confused. He heard the toilet seat being lifted, Brian emptying his bladder. It was followed by a flush and the faucet being turned on and off._

_He met Brian's stare as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom. It was the same stare he had given Brian the night at Babylon when they discussed their "arrangements." His eyes were asking for explanation rather than begging for an answer._

_"I might not be staying a lot in Pittsburgh," Brian said in a low voice, matter-of-factly, as walked over to his leather jacket resting on one the loveseat, Brian's naked body exposed to his eyes. His manhood seemed not to be resting anytime soon. Inside the pocket of Brian's jacket, Justin saw him pull one cigarette out and light it._

_"That is very enlightening," he replied sarcastically. "Where the fuck are you going? Were you ever going to tell me about this? Ah, and what are you going to do with your agency and your home? And your mansion?"_

_"Well, they are all going to be there when I get back. Theodore and Cynthia will take care of everything. The loft and the mansion are still going to be my home since I'm not planning on moving to New York." Brian answered, and jumped on the bed next to him, inhaling his cigarette._

_"What the hell are you going to do here in New York?" He didn't know whether to be happy or mad. Happy because if Brian was going to be here in New York a lot, then it meant that they would be seeing each other a lot too. He didn't know whether to get mad at him for not telling him sooner._

_"A very big ad agency stationed here in the city wanted to be partners with me," began Brian as he passed him his lit cigarette. "I'm meeting them tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. for breakfast, and then I will take you out to lunch to celebrate," he finished as he blew the smoke out of his parted lips._

_"When were you going to tell me this? Once I'm back in Pittsburgh?"_

_"Justin, listen to me, are you listening? I just found out about this recently." Brian replied now looking at him._

_"It's just that your decisions matters to me, Brian. I thought we were partners and we love each other. Did that change?"_

Justin woke up from his deep reminiscing of that night when he realized he was finally home. The walk from Central Park to the subway station and the ride to his apartment flew by without any of it registering in his already occupied brain. "Home at last," he thought sarcastically. He sighed and shook his head a little as he stood outside the door to his small apartment. He managed to afford a little apartment in Brooklyn with a little help from the money Rage was still making from its latest issue. He was very pleased to be able to move about without stepping onto something his old roommate owned. It was such a good thing having his own apartment, especially when Brian was visiting. They could fuck wherever and whenever they wanted, and they didn't have to suppress any noise, moan or gasp they wanted to make. Thinking of Brian as he walked up the stairs to his apartment, he let his thoughts once again wander to him and the conversation they had on the phone last night.

_"You getting any work done?" Brian had asked him._

_"Little bit here and there. I have been really busy with work and stuff, not really a lot of time to paint."_

_"I see," Brian replied, and Justin knew from his tone that he was thinking he was the disturbance keeping Justin from his work. Still, Justin had attempted to assure him that he really was doing all he could do right now, and that it was a waiting game to see when and if any of the galleries would call him back._

He was even more surprised when he unlocked his door and pushed it open to find Brian sleeping on his couch. He had been certain that Brian would try to find every way to avoid him so as not to be a distraction any longer. Swinging the door shut quietly, Justin toed off his shoes and dropped his messenger bag and coat next to them. He took his hat off and tossed it aside as he slowly walked over to the back of the couch to waken Brian. Brian was sitting up and had his head tipped back against the cushions, wearing a soft white t-shirt with denim jeans. With his bare feet propped up on the coffee table, he looked so relaxed and at home. For a moment, Justin wanted to sneak away and grab his sketch pad. He couldn't see how Brian could be a disturbance in his artistic life as he always inspired Justin to create something new. 

Instead he reached out and ran his hand through Brian's tousled hair, leaning over to press his lips to Brian's neck, and running his hands over his shoulders in sort of an upside down hug. He stayed like that for a few moments, his mind flying back to that night in the hotel room.

_"Well, did it change, Brian?" He once again asked. Brian remained silent. Instead he reached for Justin's blond head with his right hand, his palm resting on Justin's nape, the tips of his fingers lightly touching the tips of his golden locks. Brian pulled his head closer to him. He could see Brian's mouth advancing closer to his mouth, and then they kissed. After a few seconds, he felt Brian pull an inch away from his mouth, stopping; the warmth of his breath bathing his face. For a minute, Justin thought he was going to say something, but his lover's beautiful, expressive hazel eyes just looked at him, seemingly memorizing his face. Then he thought, 'He doesn't have to say anything.' He knew their love for each other would never change._

_Since that night, for ten months now, Brian had been coming up to New York twice a month for the weekend. The business partner he had mentioned to him didn't go through with the business deal, although Brian had managed to somehow close accounts from big clients stationed in the city._

Brian's change of breathing and shift indicated he was awake; this woke up his wandering mind too.

"Hey." Brian's voice was hoarse from the nap. It sounded sensual, sexual, touching him in a way no other man could.

"Hey yourself. What are you doing here?" His voice was filled with excitement and anticipation, just looking at his lover. 

"I just thought I would stop in, but if you don't want me here…" Brian shifted with a slight smile on his face, pretending to get up until Justin put a little more pressure onto the arms he had laying on Brian's chest, pushing him back into the cushions.

"I always want you here," he told Brian, as he surveyed his handsome face. "I missed you. How long are you staying?" he continued, as he dropped over the back of the couch to sit down.

Brian's only response was to mumble something incoherent and to wrap his hand around the back of Justin's neck and pull him closer for a kiss. His breath quickened as Brian's tongue wrapped around his. He sighed and felt Brian pull away to stand up. Reaching down, Brian tugged him to his feet and pulled him to the bedroom.

Standing at the foot of the bed Brian leaned down and licked him behind his right ear as his long fingers reached down under his shirt to lightly tickly his sides above his jeans as he grabbed the hem. In one fluid movement Brian pulled his shirt up over his head. His hair settled back in place as Brian tossed the shirt to the floor and reached for the buttons on his jeans, quickly skimming them down his legs, also discarding them along with his briefs and socks. In the next second, Brian was pushing him down onto the squeaky mattress and quickly pulling his own t-shirt and jeans off.

Falling down next to him, Brian propped himself up on his elbow and started to run his fingers over his chest, stopping to flick each nipple and then leaning in to soothe them with his tongue, licking his way up his throat. Brian stopped less then an inch away from his mouth and they stared at each other, watching the emotions and lust play across their eyes for a few seconds; he lifted his head and reached his tongue out to close the gap between them. Breaking away from the kiss, Justin pulled Brian's fingers into his mouth and sucked on two of them while Brian watched, picturing his cock sliding between his soft lips. Brian growled and pulled his fingers out of his mouth, flipped him over on to his stomach and started to lick his way down his spine, stopping every few inches to nip at his pale skin, leaving little marks that Brian then soothed with his tongue and lips. Each time Brian nipped his skin, his breathing would quicken until by the time Brian reached his lower back, he was panting heavily.

Brian spread his hands on Justin's round ass and took a second to admire the way his darker hands looked spread out on Justin's pale, soft skin. Justin grew impatient, bumping his ass back against him, reminding him of the task at hand. Brian spread Justin's cheeks apart and blew lightly on him, causing him to groan. Typically, Brian would tease him but he wanted to hear more of the noises he knew Justin would be making; He plunged his tongue into Justin's tight hole, causing him to moan out loud. He pulled back and started to lay long licks along him, making Justin start to wiggle around on the smooth sheets. Brian pulled back. 

"Don't stop…keep on going," he begged, his voice low, sounding like a cry. 

"Tell me what you want, Justin," Brian said, his voice hoarse with desire. 

"You…more," is all Justin could pant out, too turned on to form a coherent thought. 

Brian smiled and thrust his finger quickly into his lover's body, causing him to let out a squeak and a moan all together. He leaned over and licked the tender skin around his finger as Justin continued to pant, "more…harder". 

Slipping two fingers inside his young lover's body, Brian curled them up to find the smooth bundle of nerves that he knew would produce even more sounds for him to enjoy. As soon as his fingers started to stroke in and out, Justin didn't disappoint him. The young man started to moan louder. The feeling of Brian's fingers stroking in, long and hard, bumping his prostate while his tongue, soft and wet, stroked in along the fingers, was quickly pushing Justin over the edge, and Brian knew he was close. He also knew he was becoming harder with each of Justin's pants and moans and was afraid he wasn't going to make it inside his lover before he came as well. He decided he was going to get his orgasm in a short hard fuck; Brian opened a condom with his teeth and slid it on one- handed while still roughly fingering Justin. He felt him start to tighten around his fingers and then came hard without either of them touching his cock.

As soon as Justin let go of Brian's fingers, he pulled them out, replacing them quickly with his hard cock. As soon as he was in, he started thrusting in and out, consuming every bit of Justin, until after a few strokes, the young man was moaning again, pushing back on every stroke. Brian ran his hand along Justin's spine and up his neck, running his fingers through soft blond hair while his other hand curved around Justin's chest. In one swift move, Brian thrust in and pulled Justin up, his back against Brian's sweaty chest, causing him to cry out in pleasure. The blond turned his head to lick at Brian's lips and teeth. Brian ran his hand from the boy's chest down his tight stomach, to his dick, and started to jerk him off in time with his thrusts. Through Justin's moans he could hear him panting; he could tell how close he was. Brian's movements became jerky the closer he got, until he leaned into Justin's ear and whispered, "Come for me Justin," slightly nipping Justin's ear lobe. Brian moved vigorously, hungry for something he hadn't had in a few weeks, and that something was Justin. After a few more pulls, Justin exploded in Brian's hand; the tightening of his ass around Brian's cock finally pushed him over the edge as well, groaning loudly in Justin's ear. 

As soon as Brian finished coming, he collapsed onto his side, pulling Justin down with him. They lay on the bed a few moments, and then Brian released himself and pulled the condom off, tossing it in the trash. Brian pulled him, still panting, back into his arms and ran his fingers along his arm until their hands met; when Brian twined their fingers together, he sighed, fixing his eyes on their entwined fingers. It was like their lives together; interlocking, tight, memories both good and bad, sweet and bitter, overlapping each other. The way they were holding each other's hands, it seemed they both didn't want to let go. Then he felt Brian's fingers slightly loosening up. Eventually one hand slipped, the hand loosening up to ease the pain from the entwined fingers. Finally, their hands let go. His hand felt free but naked at the same time. These thoughts worried him. 

"I guess we need to take a shower," Justin said without thinking. Fake laugh escaped his throat, his voice expressionless. 

"I guess so, Sunshine," replied Brian, not noticing the tone in his voice, or probably just ignoring it. He didn't get up, though; instead he lay on his stomach. He felt Brian's hard hand caressing his back, warm lips planting tiny kisses on his nape. 

"That feels good," he said, finding comfort in his kisses. 

Brian didn't reply; instead he continued kissing the side of Justin's face, then his neck. He moved his attention to his ear and once again maneuvered his tongue around it. 

"I can tell you are having more of your fuzzy lezzy thoughts again, so stop that," Brian whispered in his ear, referring to his quietness. 

"You haven't answered my question," Justin said.

"And which question is that?" Brian stopped in the middle of his back, once again feeling his hand, but now it was pressing on his ass. 

"How long are you here in the city for?"

"I have a flight on Liberty Air leaving at 8:30 tomorrow morning; this was only a short trip. I didn't want to wait for more time to open up."

"Okay," was all he could muster to reply. _'When am I going to see you again?'_ He whispered to himself. He couldn't ask Brian this for he was afraid of his answer. _'Why does everything feels so final?'_ Everything they did today seemed sadder than his last night in Pittsburgh, more than ten months ago. 

Brian moved up and once again lay next to him. Justin reached down and pulled the covers over them, rolling over and pressing his back against Brian's chest to fit their bodies together. With all the worries in his head, he started to drift off to sleep, wrapped firmly in Brian's arms. "I love you," Justin mumbled. 

"I know, Sunshine, me too," Brian whispered in his ear before he completely closed his eyes.

He dreamt Brian whispering in his ear, "I'm going to miss you, Sunshine."

The next morning he went with Brian to the airport, and as he watched Brian's Armani-clad figure walk away to the awaiting plane, he had a feeling of dread like that this might actually be goodbye for good. The kiss Brian had given him had been a little too sad, a little bit more final. He had felt as though Brian had been trying to memorize every feeling and every last taste of him. As he turned to go back to his lonely studio, he knew that this surprise visit from Brian had been a goodbye, one last memory, as he realized Brian never returned his whispered "Later"...

To be continued….


	4. A Trip to Pittsburgh

  
Author's notes:

Sorry if this took a while. I have been having a rough time. But at long last, the newest chapter is finished (and the fifth one is about to be beta's). Thanks for waiting guys. I hope I didn't lose your support. I have a RPS fic that I will be posting in a minute and a new series. I hope you guys will like both of them. Enjoy!

Special thanks to BADBADPIXIE from LJ for my fic banner.

THANKS a BUNCH to GIRLOFTHEBURBS from LJ for being a wonderful, patient beta (ever!)

And to my partner in crime...KITTYKAT2305 (666meow), I hope for more fics to come!

LOVE YA ALL GUYS!

* * *

**By Doppelganger and 666meow**

**Brooklyn, New York.** “Oh, sweetheart,” Jennifer gasped as she looked at Justin’s paintings. The first ones he showed her were images of New York City; its people, how he perceived its beauty and its darkness at the same time. 

“They’re… breathtaking,” her voice was as though hypnotized by the colors used in the paintings. One of the paintings was of an old man sitting on a bench outside a local Spanish/convenience store, painted in black and white. Justin captured the sadness and loneliness in the old man’s eyes. Jennifer felt like she was looking at her son’s face. Behind his beautiful blue eyes, lay an old, sad, lonely man. This thought made Jennifer turn her head toward her son. She was watching his every movement when her attention was caught by the covered canvases aligned in the further side of the studio, far from Justin’s New York City paintings. There were four, Jennifer counted, each one resting against the wall. There was something about the white cloth covering the canvases. It gave a haunted feeling of solitude. 

“Can I look at those, honey?” Jennifer asked as she pointed at the white-sheet covered canvases. 

Justin didn’t say a word, just nodded with his head bowed and started walking towards the first paintings his mother was inspecting a few seconds ago. He turned his head towards his mother’s figure as he walked away. He watched her move under his blue eyes. 

She remained silent as she unwrapped each canvas. The first one was of a dark-haired man, naked, lying on his stomach, arms and legs sprawled on the bed. Jennifer admired her son’s extraordinary feel of human form. Each muscle of the man’s body talked to her… even each visible strand of hair denoted the artist’s feelings when he painted the subject.

The second one was a simple portrait of the same dark-haired man. It was in gray but Justin made the subject’s hazel eyes stand out. Jennifer felt like the man was staring at her, reading her soul, wandering in her mind. At that moment she knew why her son fell helplessly in love with this man. His eyes said it all.

The third one was no different from the first two. Justin used the same subject only this time, he included another person. Most of the surface of the third canvas was literally in black but she could see the obvious figure of two faces, tips of their noses touching, acting like they were about to kiss. Although the colors in the painting were limited to black, blue, gray and a little white, it denoted serenity, peacefulness and contentment. 

Jennifer couldn’t bring herself to pull the white cloth off the fourth and last canvas. The pain, the sadness was visible in every brush stroke and every detail in each of the covered paintings. Every line of each image echoed loneliness, nostalgia. She didn’t know if she wanted to see the last one just because she didn’t know what she would say to her son.

She decided to do it quickly, to just take the covering off the canvas. She wasn’t mistaken but very surprised with the last painting when she saw it. It was of a mansion; Beautiful, almost magical. There was a fairy tale feel to the last painting. It made Jennifer happy. She knew right there and then, Justin was thinking of home. 

“Are you going to include this in your exhibit, Justin?” Jennifer’s voice echoed in the quietness of the studio. 

“I’m not sure yet,” Justin quietly replied as he watched his mother cover the paintings one by one. 

“Well, honey, not to be biased, but I feel that you should include these paintings. They are the best you have created so far,” Jennifer said, standing next to her son; she fixed her eyes on his blond hair that was now long and carefully parted from the left side, creating a soft curtain of locks around his soft face. 

“I’ll think about it, Mom,” Justin replied once again, a little smile on his full lips. 

“Have you spoken to him?” For a second, Jennifer could tell that Justin was going to pretend he didn’t know who she was talking about. But then he replied. 

“What for?” Justin answered his mother. The bitterness in his voice was apparent. “He stopped calling me and stopped visiting; I think I’m capable of knowing when someone doesn’t want to see me anymore. It was so stupid in the first place to assume it was going to work,” he continued. 

“Honey, I respect your decisions and I could never be more proud of you. You’ve grown so much…” Jennifer walked towards her son, reaching over to touch his face. Finally, he looked up and met his mother’s eyes. 

“But I want you to be happy.” 

“I am happy,” Justin said, but even he wasn’t convinced. 

“I saw him at the diner,” Jennifer said, “before I came here. I went there to talk to Debbie…” she continued, trying her best not to push the subject, seeing as how Justin was reacting to the situation. Justin remained silent, guiding his mother towards the only couch in the studio. In front of the couch was a coffee table where cookies and two cups of coffee were placed. They sat down. 

“I’m not interested in anything he had to say,” Justin said, brushing off the thought of him. His mother mentioning seeing the man made him think of his tousled brown hair as if he just got out of bed when he was all dressed up in his Armani suit. How could he forget his sexy smirk and his hazel eyes? 

“Well, he really didn’t say much, just gave me a quick kiss and he was gone. He looked really sad…” 

“How’s Molly?” Justin cut in. He didn’t want to hear any more about Brian. His Mom eyed him and answered his question, but he barely listened. All he thought about was the last time they saw each other. _‘He didn‘t even say goodbye,’_ he said to himself. He found it hard to swallow the coffee he was drinking. He told himself he would never cry over it. Maybe he and Brian were not meant to be, never meant to be together. 

“…boyfriend,” was the only word that registered in his mind of what his mom had said. “What about a boyfriend?” Justin asked his mother, trying to focus but losing the battle in his head.

“This guy you were with at your last exhibit, is he your boyfriend?” Jennifer repeated the question. She had a smile on her lips but not in her eyes. Apparently, her son wasn’t listening. She knew where his mind was. This made her feel sad and helpless inside. Justin laughed a little but it didn’t reach his sad blue eyes. 

“No Mom, he’s just a friend.” Justin looked at his mother straight in the eyes. He didn’t have to tell her everything… that he saw the guy a couple of times but it was nothing serious. He’s a man, and he has needs. He was pretty sure that Brian was doing the same thing back in Pittsburgh. He was sure there were no lonely nights for Brian. He felt his chest tightening. All of a sudden he just wanted to be alone.

“Well he seems like a nice young man,” Jennifer said, then continued, “Are you going to your sister’s birthday party next week?” 

“Oh yeah, sure Mom, I won’t miss it,” he assured her. But did he really want to go back to Pittsburgh so soon? Was he ready? 

“Are you bringing your friend with you? What’s his name again?” 

“Alex. And no, mother, I am not taking him with me,” Justin almost rolled his eyes as his mother pried into his love life. 

“I’m just going to see Molly, and maybe… Dad,” he saw his mother twitch a little bit when he mentioned his father. She’d been long over the divorce, but Justin knew that his father’s feelings towards him were making his mother uneasy. 

“Well, be sure to see Debbie. You know she’s been dying to see you. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, Ted and Blake just bought a nice house right outside Liberty Avenue. They hired me to help them find a house,” his mother’s voice was ecstatic and very excited. This put a genuine smile on Justin’s lips. 

“The mansion was on the market for a couple of months but he took it off last week…” 

“Mom, why do you have to always jump to him? I am not interested,” he stressed. 

“Justin, maybe I want you to pay attention. Obviously the man didn’t want you to be here while he was back in Pittsburgh!” 

“You don’t know him. I do. He would never say he wanted me there. That’s not him,” Justin said sadly. 

“Actions speak louder than words, always remember that.” 

But there were a lot of times when Brian did things he didn’t like, Justin thought to himself. 

**Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.** Justin didn’t know what he was doing in front of the building he and Brian used to frequent back in the days when it was still a bath house. Now, the building was home to the most successful advertising agency in Pennsylvania, and possibly, the whole East coast. He stood there looking at the entrance of the building. A lot of people were coming in and out. Did he want to go in to see him? He had battled over this question for a week and still hadn’t decided what he really wanted to do. He arrived at his mother’s house early the night before last, and spent time with her and Molly for her birthday. Then he went to see his father, although the latter wasn’t too thrilled to see him. Sometime last night, he thought of what Brian had told him regarding his father; he would always be hurt since he wouldn’t -- and couldn’t -- forget his father. He almost agreed with Brian after the cold treatment he received from his old man; but he was still his father. He could never turn his back on him. 

Justin was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice a nudge that was given to him. The person had to do it twice for him to notice. It was Ted. 

“Hey, Justin!” 

“Ted!” He was genuinely glad to see him. He looked very healthy and happy. Ted offered him his right hand but he decided to give him a hug instead after an awkward smile between them.

“So, you’re here in town,” Ted started happily. 

“Yeah, it’s my sister’s birthday and I wouldn’t miss it,” he said, nodding. 

“Of course, of course,” Ted agreed. “So, you saw Michael?” he continued.

“Later, I’ll stop by at the store. We’re working on our next Rage issue.” 

“That’s very good news. Well, the residents of Gayopolis have something to look forward to once more,” Ted joked. 

Justin laughed the first real laugh he’d had since Brian and he had parted. 

“Oh, congratulations for the new house; My mother told me you and Blake bought one just outside Liberty Avenue,” Justin said, very happy for Ted. 

“Yes, yes, she did help us in finding our new home. It was quite an experience, although I have been through it before. But it was sweeter the second time around,” Ted said jokingly, as he referred to the time he was buying a house with Emmett, and they had also hired Jennifer to help them. 

“That is really nice, Ted. I’m happy for you.” 

“Thank you, Justin. I am very happy for me too,” Ted’s smile was as wide as the open door he was holding. 

“Are you coming in?” Ted gestured for Justin to come in the establishment. 

__

Did he really want to go inside the building and see Brian? Did he want to torture himself by looking at the man he loved, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to touch him? Justin didn’t want to look helpless in front of him. He didn’t want to beg -- wait a minute, did he want to beg? Did he want to beg for Brian to come back and once again work with him in making their relationship work? He ached inside for the answers. He ached inside for the right decision to choose. But most of all he ached inside for him. He knew once he laid his eyes on him, he would want him back. He would want him in his arms once again. 

__

“Oh, no Ted, I was just passing by. I have to go.” He immediately walked away from Ted, who didn’t have a chance to say goodbye properly. 

Justin walked as fast as he could; it didn’t matter where he was going, but he walked away, never looking back. He felt his eyes watering and looked up the sky. It looked like it was going to rain.

**KINNETIK.** “Cynthia, clear all my appointments for the next two weeks. I don’t want any phone calls for the rest of the day, and book me a flight for Toronto tomorrow morning,” Brian instructed Cynthia as he passed by her table. Cynthia was sipping her coffee and almost spilled it on herself. Brian _can’t_ take off for two weeks! she thought to herself. 

“Brian, two weeks? You have a very important meeting with Brown next week, remember?” Cynthia reminded Brian as she followed him. 

“Yeah, well you know what to do in situations like this,” Brian turned around and smiled obnoxiously to Cynthia.

“Brian --”

“Theodore,” Brian said as he saw Ted approaching.

“Hi there, boss. I was just coming back from my lunch break,” Ted was smiling but his eyes were moving back and forth, a sign that he was anxious about something.

“Follow me to my office,” Brian said. Ted followed Brian with Cynthia on his heels. 

“Cynthia, I need you to take care of the ticket, and Theodore, you will be covering for me for the Brown meeting,” Brian said as soon as he seated himself down in his comfortable swivel leather chair. 

“One plane ticket to Toronto coming up,” Cynthia replied and turned around to go back to her table to make a couple of phone calls. 

“But Brian, I-I-I-”

“Theodore, you‘ve been working with me side by side on this account. If there was anyone in this agency more qualified to handle this account except me, it’d be you. You know all the details about it. Your, ah, convincing abilities have improved.” Ted nodded in approval. “If you fuck up, you know what’s going to happen,” Brian said, finishing his sentence with an obnoxious smirk on his tired, handsome face.

“Yes, you would have my balls on a plate. No problem, Bri,” Ted replied as he  continuously nodded his head, stuffing his hands once again in his pockets. “You’ve been stressed a lot lately, I see,” Ted commented conversationally, took out his right hand and started tugging on his necktie. 

Brian raised an eyebrow, looked up from the file of papers in front of him and eyed Ted.

“I thought you got over stalking me, Theodore.”

“Just that you are taking off, you look like shit --”

“Coming from a person who looked like one, you would know,” cut in Brian which Ted purposely ignored. “What is this conversation all about Theodore?”

“I saw Justin outside when I was coming back from my lunch break…” 

Upon hearing this, Brian straightened up. Tingling sensations spread throughout his body.

“What did he have to say?” Brian asked calmly. He could feel the month’s worth of stress spreading from his shoulders down to his back. He sat back and folded his hands on his crossed legs, both elbows resting on the armrests of the chair.

“He said ‘Hi’, congratulated me about the new house Blake and I bought, and that he was seeing Michael tonight. Oh and it’s his sister’s birthday today. Aren’t you invited?” said Ted as his eyes moved to the couch in Brian’s office, where a good sized, fancily-wrapped box was sitting. 

“I don’t know if I should be scared or glad, Theodore, to know that you know all these about me,” Brian stood up and started walking towards the gift that was on the couch. 

“Well, Brian you can never be too lucky having me by your side as your accountant, friend --”

“And stalker. I will see you in two weeks.” Ted once again nodded his head. “Oh, and, Schmidt?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t fuck up.” Brian walked toward the main door of the establishment after once again stopping in front of Cynthia’s desk to give her one last instruction. 

 

**Taylor Residence, Pennsylvania.** “Molly!” Jennifer’s voice was commanding. Justin’s sister just stared at the portrait he’d painted for her birthday. 

“Thanks, Justin.” She wasn’t too thrilled with the gift, Justin could tell. But Molly gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, then she ran off to her friends who were starting to dig into her birthday cake. 

“Justin, she --”

“Loves it, yeah Mom. Every year, I give her practically the same birthday gift; either a sketch or a portrait, and every year she gives me the same reaction. And every year you tell me the same exact thing,” he said, smiling. 

“Oh, when she is old enough to realize the value of your portraits, she will absolutely adore them, honey.” Jennifer lovingly gazed at her son and then looked over at her youngest. 

“Right now, her happiness knows nothing but new shoes, new clothes, bigger allowance and, hmmm… a laptop?” Justin replied to his mother, referring to the gift she got Molly.

They started laughing together. Justin was having genuine fun when he looked at his mother’s front door. A figure stood there, a person he didn’t imagine seeing at that very moment. The man was closely watching him, he knew, although the man was wearing his dark glasses. His gray Armani suit was a little wet on the shoulders, indication of the rain that he predicted earlier while he was hurriedly escaping Kinnetik.

Jennifer immediately caught onto her son’s sudden quietness. She walked toward the door to welcome Brian. Justin didn’t follow his mother. 

“Brian, you came,” Jennifer’s excitement was inconceivable; she was also surprised to see Brian. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and a light hug. The man’s eyes didn’t leave Justin’s even for a second.

“Would you like a piece of birthday cake? The kids started a few minutes ago,” Justin overheard his mother say to Brian as they approached him.

“No, thank you, Jennifer, but I’m on a diet,” Brian replied. Justin almost rolled his eyes. He hated himself for feeling amused. 

“What are you doing here?” Justin asked.

“It is nice to see you, too."

“Justin! I invited Brian,” Jennifer got between the two men.

“And you forgot to mention it,” Justin said, eyeing his mother. Jennifer didn’t reply but instead gestured Brian to sit down. 

“I’m not staying long, Jennifer. I have to pack for my flight tomorrow. Here is a little something for Molly,” Brian handed Jennifer the gift. It was too late to catch himself. Justin quickly moved his eyes from Brian to his mother. Brian looked at him. He didn’t know what he was thinking. ‘ _Where are you going?’_ He wanted to ask him. 

Justin felt shivers, so he folded his arms across his chest. His thoughts couldn’t depart from what he had learned. 

“I thought you don’t celebrate birthdays,” Justin said, to move his thoughts away from the thought of Brian packing and probably flying maybe to Ibiza; and for real this time. For a second, he thought Brian was going to ignore his little remark. But then he leaned forward towards him, their faces only two inches apart.

“A lot of things have changed,” was all he said. Jennifer felt the tension between them, so she encouraged Brian to stay just for one drink. He obliged.

Jennifer led the way to her mini-bar. Justin followed his mother with Brian on his tail. Justin felt a burning sensation at the back of his neck; He knew Brian was watching him. After Jennifer served Brian a drink, she politely excused herself to check on Molly and her friends, who were gathered in the living room of the house. 

“So,” Justin said, leaving his arms crossed on his chest.

“So,” Brian mimicked. 

Justin wanted to confront Brian for not keeping in touch, but deep within, he felt tired. He wanted to give up a battle that somehow neither of them could win. 

“How are you doing?”

“You really want to know?” Justin snapped.

“How was your last exhibit?” Brian ignored his reply.

“It went well,” he lied. He’d never been so bored in his life. And he never imagined having feelings like that at his own exhibit. It was him, Justin thought, that made the exhibit unbearable, boring and lifeless. He was missing him terribly. If only he had come…

“The next one’s coming up soon,” Justin informed Brian.

“I’m sure you will do great,” Brian said, as he sipped the dark liquor from his crystal glass. “By the way, you left some of your stuff at the loft.”

Justin couldn’t believe it for a second. But then, through Brian’s dark glasses, Justin saw the familiar burn in his hazel eyes. 

“When are you available so I can pick them up?” He challenged Brian.

“Today. Right now.” Brian answered, then drank all what was left in his glass. 

 

**The loft.** Brian opened the door and let himself in; Justin followed. A warm sensation enveloped his whole being as he entered the loft. He felt safe… he felt at home. He felt he belonged here. But reality set in when he realized what he was doing here. He was here to pick up some of his stuff that he left when he packed for New York. Brian went straight to the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out a two bottles of cold beer. He offered one to Justin. Justin wanted to refuse but changed his mind when he saw Brian had removed his jacket and tie, and was in the process of rolling up the sleeves of his burgundy Prada shirt. He felt very thirsty all of a sudden. 

“There is some of your stuff in the bedroom,” Brian said, sipping his beer, then pointed the mouth of the bottle towards the bedroom. 

“Oh.” Justin’s thirst intensified as he followed the mouth of Brian’s beer bottle. Justin took a big sip of his own beer, then placed it down on the counter and started walking towards the bedroom. He knew damn well he wasn’t there for a couple of shirts he had left behind. 

The bedroom pretty much looked the same. Brian still had the same lights he had when he left for New York. Justin walked towards the drawers sitting not too far from the platform bed and opened the drawers, one by one, and found some of his belongings; pairs of socks here and there, some underwear, a couple of shirts, and some pants. He didn’t know why he didn’t take them out of the drawers, though. He just stood there looking at them. 

“Did you find them?“ Justin was startled. Brian was standing a little bit too close to him, his breath bathing Justin’s nape, causing him to shiver.

He turned around to answer him, “Yes, I di--” he started, but Brian grabbed him by the front of his black t-shirt and pinned him against the closet. Brian then covered Justin’s mouth with his. He felt Brian’s tongue teasing the tip of his tongue, licking the roof of his mouth, and he groaned under his breath as Brian continued his seduction. He did this for a few more seconds then Justin sucked on Brian’s tongue. It was sharp and a little painful, but it made him hard, and made him moan. He felt precum leaking from the end of his hard cock, wetting the inside of his jeans. Brian seemed to sense what was happening to his body, for he stopped what he was doing and smiled a sexy, mischievous smile. And just to tease and torture him, Brian slowed down, taking his time kissing his swollen lips. Brian nibbled on his lower, then his upper lip, moving his mouth away from his for a couple of seconds, making Justin almost cry a protest. But then Brian once again thrust his tongue back into Justin’s mouth while at the same time reaching down with his right hand to rub Justin’s hard dick through his jeans.

Reaching up, Justin unbuttoned Brian’s shirt; when it fell open, he scraped his nails from his neck down his arms shoving the shirt to the ground in a pile. He scratched over Brian’s chest and nipples down to his pants and unsnapped them, pulling out his dick and his hand back up to his mouth. When he had Brian’s attention, he licked his palm and brought it back down and started to jerk him off. Brian hissed and closed his eyes. A few strokes later he opened them up; they were completely glazed over with lust. Groaning deep in his throat, Brian spun Justin around, pressing him further into the closet door, reaching around and undoing the snap and zipper of his jeans, pulling them down below the swell of his perfect ass. Brian pulled back to reach into the drawer in front of them, pulling out a packet of lube and a condom. Slicking his fingers, he slid one inside Justin’s tight hole, then teasing him with a second until Justin was about to turn his head to tell him to hurry. Scissoring his fingers while he tore the condom open with his teeth, Brian slipped it on with his other hand; Brian was ready in just a few seconds. Pulling his fingers out, he put the head of his cock at Justin’s hole and hesitated for a second, until Justin pushed back. 

“Do it, Brian, fuck me,” Justin commanded. Brian rolled his hips forward until his entire length was buried within him. As soon as he started to push back, Brian withdrew and snapped forward; a few more hard thrusts, and neither of them were going to last. Brian reached around and pushed Justin’s hand away, and jerked him off in time with his thrusts. After a few quick thrusts, Justin came all over Brian’s hand; Brian’s cock swelled in his ass, and he bit into Justin’s shoulder through the fabric of his t-shirt as he came hard in the condom.

Pulling out, they both fell in a sweaty heap on the bed, Justin still almost fully dressed with his pants around his knees, and Brian with no shirt, kicking off his pants. 

“That was unexpected, but good.” 

“Yeah,” Brian replied, lighting a cigarette. 

Taking a drag off the cigarette Justin asked, “So, where is your trip?” 

“Toronto” Brian replied as he reclaimed his smoke and sauntered naked into the bathroom to start the shower. Justin sat there for a few minutes and listened to Brian in the shower before he left. 

__

To be continued…

__


End file.
